@1Happytwit: My ex told me that Gaga's "Bad Romance" song reminds him of me. Now I'm glad I dumped him. What sort of idiot admits to listening to Gaga.
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@Thynebear: "You're bleeding because you don't floss" Me: No, I'm bleeding because I ate the entire bowl of deceivingly fake fruit in your waiting room.
@bellicosejason: My boss calls me chief, so I really don't know who's in charge anymore. I hope it's not me because I haven't been paying attention.
@TheAlexNevil: Adult: If it ain't broke don't fix it Child: If it ain't breakable, not interested