@RandomlyMJ: My exes new girlfriend has been calling me looking for him for days. It got old. I gave in and sent her the map and shovel.
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@alfageeek: My wife is getting rid of all the clutter. If you see the kids and me standing out by the street, it means we didn't make the cut this year.
@BradBroaddus: My wife wants to go on a romantic date for Valentine's Day so I guess I'll stay home with the kids.
@officialjaden: If A Book Store Never Runs Out Of A Certain Book, Dose That Mean That Nobody Reads It, Or Everybody Reads It
@AntozWolf: People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!