@GibJimson: My family doesn't get together a lot during the holidays.
We see each other enough throughout the year at all the interventions.
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@omgthatspunny: A lawyer-turned-cook is a sue chef.
@OutOnTheMoors: "Comedians" don't RT because? A. Their tweets are pure gold. B. This is just a joke-tryout site. C. They know we're all funnier than them.
@XplodingUnicorn: [reading Harry Potter] Me: Do you know what's going on? 3-year-old: He went to lizard school. I'd correct her, but her version is better.
@batkaren: My monster costume for Halloween's just going to be whispering, "better hope it's not the poisoned one," to kids when I hand out candy.
@LetsQuoteComedy: "Are you talking back to me?" "Mom, that's how a conversation works."
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