@TheSweetestD_: My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full.
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@AbbyHasIssues: I've never wanted to know the answer to anything bad enough to ask a question at the end of a meeting that's running 30 minutes over time.
@YeezyEducatedMe: [creates anti aging pill] Reporter: wow imagine all the human applications this can have *I scribble out 'give to puppies'* Yeah absolutely
@jeannerbeaner: Pronounce it "Valentimes Day" so Cupid will know to shoot you right in your stupid face.