@LorieGZ: My family seemed kinda happy that the rice I made yesterday fell on the floor before I could serve it tonight.
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@dixonshuman: My memory is horrible but I remember every person I loaned a book to that didn't return it.
@markleggett: When your parents held you as a baby for the first time, they secretly hoped you'd end up arguing with strangers on a celebrity's Instagram.
@Rollinintheseat: Please, person who just said "libary", tell me more about what an avid reader you are.
@TweetsByTheTony: Brew coffee. Chill coffee. Use coffee instead of water to make Twice-Brewed Coffee. Win Nobel Prize. Begin to glow, levitate. Eat building.