@LorieGZ: My family seemed kinda happy that the rice I made yesterday fell on the floor before I could serve it tonight.
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@DadandBuried: 6yo: What's for dinner? Me: Pork medallions. 6: I HATE THOSE! Me: I'll give you $1000 if you can tell me what either pork or medallions are.
@HomeProbably: I hate it when I'm by the window and make eye contact with someone outside, so I understand why this lady is shocked to see me up a tree.
@SilverCricket9: #HowToEscapeADate No matter what he's talking about, bring the conversation back to your cat. "I love to travel." "My cat's an explorer."
@WilliamAder: What's the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they're not going to joust?