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@_SetTheHook_: My favorite childhood memory is not having a job.
@BatmanOffDuty: A fax machine is just a surprise printer.
@30SecondJams: i'm sorry ms. jackson... i am
@Anon_o_Mom: My husband accidentally texted mewting instead of meeting. Now I can't stop picturing a bunch of kittens in a conference room.
@BubblesnBooze: It's funny how your tweets are funnier now that I know you're hot.
-everyone on Twitter
@Adam14: I heard that sadomasochistic vegans like to get beet and artichoked.
Some even like getting pead on.
Don't turnip your nose at this.