@BoozieEyedJoe: My favorite deleted scene from Lord of the Rings is when Bilbo & Frodo discover they have a long lost hipster cousin called Douche Baggins.
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@eudaimonium: Those who carry teensy cute purses shouldn't throw stones at those who wear cargo shorts, because I can carry more stones.
@BromanConsul: "BUT WE'RE DATING!" the blonde screams, "I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND." "You were" Hefner chuckles. "Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."
@VaguelyFunnyDan: OMG guys just watched the news and those "COEXIST" bumper stickers totally aren't working :/
@ninjadinosaur1: None of my Barbies are speaking to each other because Ken got Skipper pregnant again. You can imagine the tension in my house tonight.