@BoozieEyedJoe: My favorite deleted scene from Lord of the Rings is when Bilbo & Frodo discover they have a long lost hipster cousin called Douche Baggins.
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@SocialExtortion: fun prank: text a girl "we need to talk right now" and then throw your phone into a river
@causticbob: Greek people must feel like a tampon. They live in one of the most beautiful places in the world, but at the worst period.
@truegritrumble: ME: *staring into my lover's eyes in the midst of a warm embrace* HER: What are you thinking? ME: *caressing her cheek* I forgot your name.
@theevilwriter: Tip: if you often say things like "there is no i in team but there *is* one in incompetence" they won't ask you to mentor new coworkers.