@StellaRtwot: My favorite letter is elamenopee.
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@ShaunRightNow: Smiling releases endorphins in your body, which relieves stress. All I have to do now is explain that to my proctologist when he's done.
@ChrisScarlette: [pizza delivery] Girl: Is there an other way I can pay you? *bites lip* uh HELL YEAH! *pulls out phone* see that RT button?
@iwearaonesie: if people really didn't want to hear smartass responses they wouldn't keep asking questions like "do you know why i pulled you over?"