@StellaRtwot: My favorite letter is elamenopee.
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@briangaar: Hi mom, we shot the new Hobbit movie today. I'm orc #56, the one accidentally wearing a watch. The director was really mad.
@TheTweetOfGod: My advice for anyone who wants more followers is simple: Form them from dust and breathe into their nostrils. #workedforMe
@RoosterMustache: ME: want anything for breakfast? BOSS: just banana [struggling to hold office door shut] ANA: let me in! ME: sorry boss said to ban you
@Jarhead44: If I can't pronounce your name after meeting you, you will from that point forward be addressed as "bro."