@wittwitbarista: My favorite machine at the gym is the water fountain.
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@CelebrityGaucho: [Spelling bee, to clench victory] "O,P... (hesitates) A,W,E,S,O,M,E." Judges? (Opossum judges whispering for a bit) Correct.
@Monicann86: Every morning I wake up super pissed at my parents because I have to go to work instead of living off a trust fund.
@KrunkedRobot: Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.