@wittwitbarista: My favorite machine at the gym is the water fountain.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GrantTanaka: a good way to greet new neighbors is by practicing your pitchfork-throwing in the front yard & impressing them w/ your deadly accuracy
@matt___nelson: [Maroon 4 meeting] Adam Levine: "Our band name sucks" Drummer that no one knows the name of: "let's think bigger" Adam: "I've got it"
@AnOrangeSNES: Senior: *Gets diploma* I'm glad all the cliquey high school stuff is behind me Principal: *Laughs for the rest of the graduation ceremony*
@XplodingUnicorn: Dear Britain, This Brexit vote is all wrong If you want to leave the EU, dump some tea in the harbor and fight a war. Sincerely, America