@Tbone7219: My favorite part about Black Friday is the part where I go to the mall, find a great parking spot & sit in my car with the reverse lights on
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@LackOfShame: Have fun, but be careful. Your sister was vacuumed up last week, and yesterday your cousin was killed with a shoe. - spider moms, probably
@Cheeseboy22: When I was a kid, there were actually six oceans: The Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Antarctic, Arctic and Billy.
@CorkyKneivel: GUY: Sorry you two broke up. What happened? ME: Well, like most things, it can be traced to the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand...
@weinerdog4life: Babies are just like turtles, keep them in water and also feed them turtle food.