@SadieSkyNinja: My favorite part about ordering a salad on the first date is going into the bathroom and eating 6 mini donuts.
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@Book_Krazy: Cute cat "Thanks. We dont let him in though cause he shreds" You mean sheds? "No" [gestures to cat shredding to Van Halen on the back patio]
@DrainBamagedHD: Hey, people who leave the volume on an odd, non divisible by 5 number, how do you live with yourselves?!
@stephenjmolloy: "Nutella causes cancer" says one scientist with his mouth covered in chocolate. "Send your jars to me and I will dispose of them."
@meganamram: When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid