@iCumBl00d: My favorite part of church is when they pass around free money.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SocialustGal13: Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?
@timdonakowski: Don’t assume Wal-Mart sells walls. Unless you want an argument about existential reality with an 85-year-old greeter.
@tuckerflodman: *Mom makes me take out the garbage* *Garbage and I begin to date* *I start taking things too fast* *Garbage dumps me*
@flashember: You've reached voicemail of [Jim], leave a message. "Hi it's the library. The book 'How to Steal Library Books' is now 1 week over...UH OH"