@iCumBl00d: My favorite part of church is when they pass around free money.
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@WheelTod: I can't afford an electric toothbrush, so I just roll a baby hedgehog in some toothpaste and hold in it my mouth for 15 minutes.
@Brianhopecomedy: In a marriage it's always a competition to see who can look busier, hence why I sighed and shook my head repeatedly while writing this.
@Karate_Horse: [karate sign up table] "Ok guys with a ponytail or that are named Vince please form a second line you are the advanced class"
@crunchenhancer: My wife told me she "likes it rough." So I replaced the toilet paper roll with a sandpaper roll. -how guys understand women