@dril: my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me
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@ChipKellysBalls: If you look in the mirror & say "pumpkin spice latte" 3x a white suburban girl will appear & tell you everything she loves about the fall
@seandunn76: I don't think my accident resulted in a concussion and also I don't think my accident resulted in a concussion.
@MarkoESQ: Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, it is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
@shawnspree: In the old days when people knocked on the door, you could hide. Now you have to disconnect from internet and turn off cell phones.