@dril: my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me
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@joshgondelman: Accidentally opened Excel. Decided to roll with it and get my life together. See you all never.
@wineoclock39: Sometimes I shock myself with smart things I say. Other times, I struggle to get out of my car with the seatbelt on.
@abbycohenwl: [chameleon conference] Boss: Is... everyone here? *crickets* Boss: I know Keith is. He brought the yummy crickets. Thx Keith: You're welcome