@dril: my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me
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@semple42: I really dislike my CW, so everyday I steal a Kleenex from her desk. In about 500 days, she's gonna be pissed.
@Los01001111: My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.
@AndyRichter: After all this Starbucks cup controversy, if Taco Bell was smart, they'd start serving their burritos in little cardboard mangers
@MissBamantha: Nothing in the history of the English language has backfired more than the phrase "calm down."