@DirtMcTurd: My favorite part of the date is when I tell her that I want her to have my kids. And then I give them to her, all 3 of them.
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@Love_bug1016: What, I'm Asian? *slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*
@daemonic3: [road trip] ME: I'm hungry, let's stop and eat FRIEND: I see a 24 hour breakfast place ME: You idiot, we don't have that kind of time