@dreamthievin: My favorite romance novels begin with "Preheat oven to 350 degrees"
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@lasergirl70: I keep checking my bank account like a hungry person checking an empty refrigerator. Neither one is going to magically be full.
@rickkondell: Dear autocorrect, please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
@grifteezy: Meet my cat, Hemingway. And my two dogs, Faulkner and Whitman. I know what books are. Ah yes, my macaw approaches. His name is Literature