@dreamthievin: My favorite romance novels begin with "Preheat oven to 350 degrees"
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@Marlebean: When I die, I want people to think back lovingly about me and say "oh, I thought she was already dead"
@VerbsRProudest: One time I knocked my hot curling iron off the sink & caught it in my open palm because I have the catlike reflexes of a dim-witted ninja.
@TrainedHedonist: Sometimes I feel driving over Beliebers, but then I'm like, "what is wrong with me??" because I just got my car washed.