@dreamthievin: My favorite romance novels begin with "Preheat oven to 350 degrees"
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@birbigs: Why does my computer always ask me if I'm "sure" about stuff? Yes, I want to delete my hard drive.
@Reverend_Scott: Ways to tell a woman's mad at you: 1. She's silent. 2. She's yelling. 3. She acts the same. 4. She acts different. 5. She murdered you.
@eedrk: adrenaline does crazy shit to the human body. i saw a lady trapped under a car and suddenly felt a surge of energy so i went to the gym
@FattMernandez: A giant rabbit died on a United flight. One man is suspected of foul play. We tried to reach him for comment but he's being vewy vewy quiet.