@mattsurely: My favorite sex position? Boy there's so many to choose from. Ha Ha. *starts sweating* I'd have to pick, um, reverse...shortstop? I gotta go
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@sammyrhodes: My wife: "Can you pass me the stud finder?" Me: "You're the stud finder!" *deep, awkward silence* Me: "Here it is."
@WildeThingy: *Panda walks into shop, "A packet of nuts please." Assistant: "pandas don't eat nuts." -"dammit" panda suit opens and 36 squirrels run off.