@The_MartiniGirl: My favourite drivers are the designated ones.
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@LinajkReturns: Hottest day ever recorded in November and my neighbor is already installing Christmas lights. So don't send me a fruitcake. Already got one.
@SCbchbum: The funniest part about The Bachelor is the participants actually think being married is a prize.
@weinerdog4life: Honey, I made the news! Apparently that old lady I fought at the library wasn't a ghost
@AaronFullerton: "You deleted your search history. Good move. But you forgot about something..." *cop gets all up in suspect's face* "Targeted. Banner. Ads."