@GringoBrulee: My first kid will be named Gotham. That way when I have to get up in the middle of the night when they're crying I can say "Gotham needs me"
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@markedly: To the 4 people today who tried to prank me and failed, eat it jerks. To the 13 who succeeded, guys can u pls delete the photos of me crying
@bea_ker: My doctor asked my blood type and I said I don’t really have a ‘type’ I just like blood that makes me laugh
@Reverend_Scott: Throwing pregnancy tests into the shopping carts of random couples at Walmart is the only silver lining in my day.
@Book_Krazy: Son: I have to bring a giraffe to school tomorrow Hub: *types in zoo coordinates & grabs keys* Me: He means a graph Hub: I GOT THIS HONEY