@GrrlGhost: My first son he is wonderful
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@gogglepossum: [1st date] Me: don't let him know you're a lobster Him: we should check out my hot-tub later Me: 'yeah...sure' *nervously clicks claws*
@TheBoydP: Whoever said that collectively women are the fair sex obviously didn't understand the meaning of fair, or women, or maybe even sex...
@SortaBad: [Christina Aguilera begins singing the lyrics 'You Are Beautiful' at her concert, notices me in the audience, and abruptly stops]