@scorpiusryan21: My friend and I have a pact that if we're not married by age 40, we're going to fist bump and take shots for making good decisions
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@Marlebean: Its crucial to teach your kids life lessons at home each day Today's lesson is: If you like your life DO NOT WAKE MOMMY UP AT 6AM EVER AGAIN
@david8hughes: [inventing trees] Angel: what purpose do they serve? God: cats climb em Angel: can they climb back down? God [inventing the fire dept]: nope
@PaigeKellerman: Way back when, I thought technology would look more like flying cars and less like me yelling "The laptop's not a touch screen," at my kids.