@scorpiusryan21: My friend and I have a pact that if we're not married by age 40, we're going to fist bump and take shots for making good decisions
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@CoopSoSarc: I hung a horseshoe above the door for goodluck. My wife still came home. Superstitions are stupid.
@UNTRESOR: Skrillex! It's your cousin Marvin. Marvin Skrillex! Know that sound you've been looking for? I think I found it! *holds phone up to blender*
@jackmackenroth: When I refer to old relatives passing away I never say "RIP" because I don't wants them to rest. I want them to Zumba.