@jumpdashark: My friend called me from a private number last night so I just returned the favor by knocking on his door with a ski mask on.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BuckyIsotope: [deathbed] Son….come closer “Yes dad?” We need a new man of the house “I’d-” *presses fake mustache into his hands* Give this to your sister
@lisaxy424: "SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP" I yell at the neighbor I can hear vacuuming at 1pm in the afternoon.
@BuckyIsotope: The basketball shot clock was invented in 1954 after a player hid the ball under his shirt for 48 minutes and told everyone he was pregnant.