@Dawn_M_: My friend got a tattoo of his wife's name so I guess he loves her as much as he loves barbed wire.
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@friendly_moon: [hostage situation] Any last words? "Nah, I'm good." If you insist. *puts gun to head* Say you're prayers. "You are prayers. Lol."
@david8hughes: Me: you're mad at me about what happened earlier aren't you? Arresting officer: little bit
@Uncul_Scientist: I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but he certainly did not hold back when I took him through the McDonald's drive thru.
@OutOnTheMoors: When I was 20, a stranger ran up to me in the street and said we should get a divorce. That set the tone of weirdness for my adult life.