@ladybroseph: My friend is an excellent librarian.
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@Alex_LaVallee: HUGE shout out to Will Smith! With out him we never would have survived the alien attack in '96. Happy Independence Day!
@Tmoney68: Look, if I offer you a bite of my calamari, you're bound to offer me a bite of your food. Legally, it's known as Squid Pro Quo.
@zachreinert03: Ate at w pho restaurant and based on my waitress' facial reaction I'm not sure if I asked for a fork or killed her entire family
@haleysfalling: [showing people around museum] and if u look to ur left you'll see a bunch of uppity people who get reaaal weird when you lick the paintings