@TrueTorontoGirl: My friend is looking for a single, normal, well adjusted man. I told her to avoid twitter.
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@AtticusFinch79: [date] Me: Wanna watch Star Wars? Him: No interest, before my time. Me *pretending to choke him with my mind* Him: What're you doing?
@ArfMeasures: ME: The mugger...he called himself "Antman" SKETCH ARTIST: *puts a dot on a piece of paper* ME [shaking] omg that's him!