@the_anastasia: My friend is so stupid she thought Alabama is a city. Don't worry, I informed her Alabama is the president.
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@PetrickSara: Me: Ok, who got Oreo filling on the couch? Husband: 4: 7: Me: Well... 7: It really could have been any of us. 4: (licks couch)
@Sickayduh: Nurse: Taking you back into surgery. Something was sewn inside you. Me: What? Can I talk to the surgeon? [from my stomach] I'm right here
@iwearaonesie: dad: I can't find my glasses, can you read what this says for me? me: "Dad do you want to go to Home Depot" dad: [voice catching] Sure son