@JermHimselfish: The worst thing about wearing a turtleneck is not being able to get up off of your back if you fall over.

@omgthatspunny: There's a new type of broom out, it's sweeping the nation.

@AmishPornStar1: Trump assures Abe that he supports Japan 100%! "I mean, I saw Godzilla like, 7 times!" says Trump.

@david8hughes: How did you know I was a member of Al Qaida? Was it my knees? Do I have terrorist's knees? Oh, the bomb. Not the knees then? That's good.

@andypatton: Alcohol increases the Send Button size by 89%.