@FeelingEuphoric: My friend says I’m self-absorbed, so I took a long, hard look at myself. Beautiful
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@ElKnuckelhombre: I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
@iwearaonesie: *runs into the back of wife's leg with the grocery cart for the 5th time* me: We meet agai- wife: Go wait in the car me: Ok