@Swishergirl24: My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don't have to shovel snow this weekend.
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@INDlAN_: Adulthood is like looking both sides before crossing the street and them getting hit by an airplane.
@krismuscookie: *With only office supplies, she diffuses the bomb with 1 second to spare* Boss: What are you doing? Me: *shoves action figures in desk.*
@seandunn76: Alex: This term indicates a zero score in tennis. Contestant: What is love? *dance party erupts*