@teacup_giraffe: My friends won't get margaritas with me anymore because I get drunk & start saying everything is "mexillent".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SortaBad: *hears a man crying in a bathroom stall at work* "Excuse me, are you okay? Because you're kinda stealing my thing"
@KevinHart4real: Nothing worse than talking to a person with a large amount of spit in their mouth that talks really fast. HOLY SHIT...My glasses r ruined
@SocialExtortion: How to pick up women: 1-approach beautiful lady 2-bend at the knees 3-lift gently 4-oh god she's screaming 5-put her down the cops are here