@teacup_giraffe: My friends won't get margaritas with me anymore because I get drunk & start saying everything is "mexillent".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@7_Cents: Good Cop: *reaches for his gun* Intimate Moment Cop: *reaches for the same gun and their hands touch*
@trojansauce: *in the corridor of the club waiting for my transitions lenses to turn back into glasses* i'll see you ladies inside
@beefman138: [At my front door, speaking to a detective in my robe] Me : Can I have my robe back, please?