@shutupmikeginn: My funeral instructions to my family were to have me cremated, and I told my best friends under no circumstances should I be cremated.
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@TravLeBlanc: I'm working on inventing an electronic Ouija board so that I can keep tweeting after I die.
@DamonHunzeker: "A Bunch of Stuff I Remembered and Then Compiled into a Narratively Cohesive Yet Inconsistently Compelling Tome: A Memoir"
@jwoodham: "You have a date? With who?" [Sees a fishing boat] "Uh, her name is Net..." [Sees someone with a booger] "Flicks! Net Flicks! Wait. Dammit."