@JamieGreenlees: My GF left me because she said I lied about stupid things. I was so upset I ate a car park :(
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@trims_the_fat: I never wish death upon anybody who wrongs me. I wish sudden, explosive diarrhea while on a date Much more satisfying.
@just1fool: If you're looking for someone to tell you what to do in the bedroom I'm pretty good at instructing on how to install window blinds.