@Sal0630: My girl must be planning a big April fools joke or something. She's been agreeing w/ me all morning. Either that or she got mad cow disease.
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@ReeseButCallMeV: My niece said I look like a mom. So now we're playing a game, sorta like Hide-N-Seek, except I hide her and no one finds her. Ever.
@DaveWeasel: The words 'selfie' and 'twerk' have been added to the dictionary this year while 'charm' and 'dignity' have been removed.
@KyleMcDowell86: [commercial for mops] *scene of a man licking up a pool of spilled soda off the dirty floor* "There has to be a better way" Narrator:MOPS