@Black__Elvis: My girlfriend accused me of sleeping with her sister and I was like, "How can that be possible when her snoring keeps me up all night?"
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@simoncholland: Based on all the white smoke billowing out, I think my lawn mower just picked a new pope.
@InternetHippo: If all millennials suddenly died the next day’s article would be “How millennials are driving up funeral costs”
@johnbiehl: Enrique Iglesias wants to 1. Be your hero 2. Kiss away your pain 3. Stand by you forever Enrique Iglesias is your mother