@_xLNc: My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy.
Anyway, he'll treat her better - they worship cows.
@ItsAndyRyan: "Is this InkJet any good?"
"Sure – we've sold it to royalty"
"Mate, it prints ALL the letters"
@jonnysun: DETROIT: im doing a secret show at 8pm tonigt at a small club dowmtown! mesage me for details!!!
ME: omg a talkimg city
@Tmoney68: BREAKING: Emotionally disturbed man gets into Trump Tower.
He was stopped by security, but not before being named a senior advisor.
@RykWeston: So, funny story. That Thundercat I shot on my front porch was some dumbass kid in a costume. Regardless, he's going up on the wall.
@SpacemanQuisp: Trouble brewing at Symphony Hall. It's the bottom of Beethoven's 9th, and the bassists are loaded.