@AntoKenya: My girlfriend once told me she was pregnant. I was so excited that I ran to another country and have never seen her from then.
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@BlindChow: *interrogating cat* Admit it! You're a Communist! "Meow" A no-good red! "Meow" Tough guy eh? "Meow" We can do this all night. "Mao" You–wait
@chimneyspotter: You cause one minor incident at a museum and everyone is "Irreplaceable Egyptian mummy" this and "Could have used regular toilet paper" that