@DirtMcTurd: My girlfriend says she's my best friend but she got so mad when I called her a homo and threw a snowball at her face. Women are so confusing
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@sickipediabot: When a woman has tissues at her bedside, she has a cold. When a man has tissues at his bedside, he may have a cold.
@BuckyIsotope: CAPTAIN AMERICA: *punches guy* Take that villain CAPTAIN BRITAIN: *punches guy* Take that guvnor CAPTAIN CANADA: *punches guy* I am so sorry