@DirtMcTurd: My girlfriend says she's my best friend but she got so mad when I called her a homo and threw a snowball at her face. Women are so confusing
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheTimmyToes: [on the way to the hospital] GF: "let me get this straight. You thoug-" Me: I thought that the mouse trap would detect that I am not a mouse
@mattZillaaaa: I don't mean to brag but I've perfected the confused look whenever my credit cards get declined
@themorris23: And remember kids, when you go to Target, there really is no "non creepy" way to ask where the Vaseline is.