@DirtMcTurd: My girlfriend says she's my best friend but she got so mad when I called her a homo and threw a snowball at her face. Women are so confusing
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@Kimpulses: A woman was arrested when her boyfriend’s body was found in a freezer in their living room. Who the hell puts a freezer in the living room?
@Jake_Vig: I saw a woman really screaming at her kids in public this morning, but in her defense, the kids were ugly.
@sixfootcandy: Insurance company: We need you to fax us the paperwork. Me: Sure. Let me jump in my DeLorean and drive back to 1987.