@GreenSmoke_: My girlfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate. Now I have two girlfriends.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JediGigi: To avoid another embarrassing moment like when I was stood up on prom night, I always keep at least 1 penguin around.
@FeralCrone: A kid at the park said a giant hemorrhoid is heading toward Earth. I know he misspoke but in the closing days of 2016 one can't be too sure.
@chelliet22: Maybe the reason you're not having *sexual intercourse* is because you call it sexual intercourse.