@GreenSmoke_: My girlfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate. Now I have two girlfriends.
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@Quartzjixler: A mother bear defending her cubs but it's me defending the fresh pan of bacon from other hotel guests at the breakfast buffet.
@charliedelta7: If I see you selling weed, I will call the cops.... and report a robbery across town..... then come over and buy some weed. Safety first.
@Freudianscript: It is estimated that 1 Million people plan to gather at Times Square to watch the ball drop while looking down at their phones.