@GreenSmoke_: My girlfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate. Now I have two girlfriends.
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@tastefactory: My cousin was Mulder on Halloween. He loves the X-Files! Oh stupid autocorrect. That should have said "murdered". And "loved", past tense.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat CAT: that's awful why would they say that? ME: really? CAT: *dies*
@AthenaMystique: Coworker: Oh, look how beautiful! It's snowing again! Me: *stabs coworker with icicle*