@AndLive2Love: My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn't want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
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@OddMarc: If you don't walk sideways chanting 'crab people' when holding tongs, we can't be friends.
@kumailn: "Give your email a good password. Letters, symbols, numbers." "What about my atm card which holds all my money?" "Any 4 numbers in a row."
@sulkywhitegirl: I like how my autocorrect changes "hun" to "Hun," like I'm playfully referring to my girlfriends as barbarous 4th-century European nomads.