@daemonic3: My girlfriend went to the dentist for a cavity. It's odd since she spends so much time in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush.
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@RocketRankoon: No mister movie ticket guy that's not a bag of cheetos in my jacket that's my enlarged heart for the love of cinema
@robotrowboat: Hi Barbara? Yeah I just saw the posters you put up and no, I have not seen your cat but I'd love to. Is now a good time to come take a look?
@Jam453Lane: My FitBit app says I sleep walked 20 steps last night, glad I was asleep during all that damn exercise.
@AndrewNadeau0: GREAT WHITE SHARK: *Jumps out of water & eats seal* JUST OK WHITE SHARK: *Frantically waves flipper to try & get seaweed off but can't*