@ArfMeasures: "My grammar is terrible," I said untruthfully, as I lied on the bed.
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@NicolaJSwinney: Leaflet through the door telling me I can enjoy sex at 75. Which is handy, because I live at number 81.
@Teowulf: When people post sad things on Facebook I just want to hug them and whisper softly in their ears, "no one cares."
@SteelFontana: If you really loved your kids, you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards AND backwards. They'll thank you later.