@MountainDouche: My grandma has been lying to me for years. A watched pot really does boil. Moral of the story, trust no one.
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@CourtneyBale: Me: So excited for the weekend! Predatory alien in disguise: Same here! Sooo easy to catch, right M: Huh P: The weakened M: What P: What
@DanMentos: One time in 1997 I forgot to close my air quotes so everything I've said since then has been sarcastic