@MountainDouche: My grandma has been lying to me for years. A watched pot really does boil. Moral of the story, trust no one.
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@AristotlesNZ: Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: I don't have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough.
@Playing_Dad: "Daddy, why is it dark at night?" It gives the ghosts and zombies a time to run around and collect little kids. Goodnight, hunny.
@UncleBob56: Wife: What's your fantasy? Me: It involves your mom. W: Your disgusting! M: W: What is it? M: I always wished she'd taught you how to cook.