@scottthetwat: My grandma sent the entire newspaper to me in the subject line of an email.
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@Sickayduh: "The Jetsons and Flintstones existed at the same time. One in the sky, one on the ground, and both in a post-apocal-" "Juror is dismissed"
@murrman5: I sniffed my work shirt to see if it was too dirty. Unfortunately I work at a chloroform factory and woke up 6 hours late for my shift
@susafrican420: white ppl: omg lakeisha is such a ghetto name white ppl: here comes my child daffodil ginseng blueberry yogurt
@olerunkbitch: I had no idea we were millionaires until I just saw my husband casually rip off 3 or 4 paper towels at once.