@TheFraudMallu: My grandmother reads obituary column in the newspaper everyday. It is pretty much like searching for your childhood friends on Facebook.
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@ChaseMit: Obama says he supports gay marriage because his views have "evolved." Republicans unsure which half of the sentence to get more angry about.
@kylekinane: Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we'd still be talking about how we're not finding that airplane.
@tastefactory: Hey Law & Order, please stop throwing around the word semen all willy-nilly, I'm trying to watch this with my mom
@Mr_Kapowski: *ring* Her: Hello, Sex Addict Hotline Me: Help please Her: Ok sir. Let's take some breaths. Deep. Slow. In and out Me: THIS ISN'T HELPING