@joeldanger: My grandparents worked hard to make sure their kids had everything and I'm working hard and not having kids to make sure I keep everything.
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@shutupmikeginn: There was a pretty girl in the produce section so to impress her I bought a mango
@MacAnnabella: "You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie
@markydoodoo: I stab myself a little bit every day to slowly build up an immunity to being stabbed to death.