@DarzieDAMN: My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying don't run into anyone you know
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@ColoChiver: Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived.
@murrman5: "do you know the best way to get rid of a wasp nest?" no, try using your phone [throws phone and hits wasp nest] *running* I meant google it