@FeelingMervis: "My Heart Mustard Go On" - Celine Dijon
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@AristotlesNZ: A guy once told me life's too short to stress, but it turned out that life's much shorter for people who give advice to stressed out people.
@UnFitz: 17: If I was gay would you still love me? Me: Of course. 17: If I committed crimes? Me: Yes. 17: If I voted for Trump- Me: Dead to me.
@pleatedjeans: [sees kid crying in grocery store] hey little guy [kneels down to his level] Can you please move you're blocking the Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
@david8hughes: Me: you're mad at me about what happened earlier aren't you? Arresting officer: little bit