@Celestinelea90: My heart says cheese dip but my jeans say for the love of god woman eat some celery.
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@nealbrennan: When people are trending on twitter, I know that they died or said something racist.
@robfee: Yelp is a great way to find out where garbage people will never eat again because one time a waitress forgot their honey mustard.
@Tmoney68: I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn't hand out drugs.
@Book_Krazy: Everytime I see my see my neighbors having sex in their hot tub, I think to myself "I can't believe I'm recording this"