@Celestinelea90: My heart says cheese dip but my jeans say for the love of god woman eat some celery.
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@TheTweetOfGod: When Adam and Eve ate the apple I remember thinking, "Well, that's a sin, but at least it's original."
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I hate when people think my real name is Jennifer, because it's not, it's Jennitalia.
@ch000ch: hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it
@imdaintyaf: I'm so incapable of accepting a compliment that I've started just flat out refusing them. Them: You look lovely today. Me: No thank you.