@Dallani: My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
@causticbob: #YouHadOneJob #SuperBowlXLIX
@BackrowSeats: Log Entry 21: it's been 3 weeks & we're still lost in this Macy's. We were forced to eat Amy. Polo ties are now 40% off.
@RichardWiseman: This is why you should never put a bald person on the front page of a newspaper
@hot_coughy: When a woman says "I can't even tell you how upset I am right now" just wait 3 seconds.
@HeyZeus666: I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem.
I threw my scale out.