@LostCatDog: My high-school wrestling coach called me "the raccoon" cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and gave people lyme disease
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@jonnysun: FRIEND: and this is my pug PUG: oink ME: (thinkig to self) did that pug just say "oink"
@NoogsCorner: Cigarette: Hey buddy. Me: I don't smoke anymore. Cigarette: But buddy. Me: NO. Cigarette: Buddy? Me: You do make a good point. Fine.
@bourgeoisalien: [walking down street with date after dinner] him: i had a great time me: yep... [gestures towards garbage truck] welp, this is me [jumps in]
@_Justin_Stepien: I'm so much like a noodle when I shower. sit in hot water for 7-8 minutes and become soft, squishy, and delicious afterwards