@LostCatDog: My high-school wrestling coach called me "the raccoon" cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and gave people lyme disease
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@ScreaminZeman: When I go out to eat I wear a shirt w/ a picture of me shirtless on it, because I hate rules but I like service.
@pauleggleston: I had my leg X-rayed today. The doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'. I said: 'Inch-high knees?' He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高.'
@kookiedelukey: Myth: Have kids close in age. It gets easier and they'll have a friend to play with Fact: They'll fight. Every hour. Every day.