@LostCatDog: My high-school wrestling coach called me "the raccoon" cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and gave people lyme disease
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@KKAlThani: I'm not the jealous type. And no I don't know why every time you talk to someone the police find their body dumped in a river the next day.
@SincerelyMen: I saw a man at the beach screaming, "Help, shark, help!" I laughed because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.
@sofarrsogud: It's like my pet hippo doesn't even realise it's my pet. DOCTOR: Please be quiet while I stitch up your face.