@LostCatDog: My high-school wrestling coach called me "the raccoon" cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and gave people lyme disease
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@mattZillaaaa: *lays in bed for 12 hours I guess I'll get up now *walks over to couch & lays down
@SteveSuckington: A letter to Paul from the Corinthians: Hey sup Paul. This is the Corinthians. This is my new number
@ElKnuckelhombre: Damn, i got hit with the "we need to talk" from my wife. Thank God it was just about divorce. I was scared shitless it was an intervention.
@vanderwangwe: The cranberries used to write songs that would get stuck in your head, in your heeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!