@zwina_summer: My husband asked me why I never blink during sex, I told him there just isn't enough time.
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@PinkCamoTO: 5: I want to do something no one else has ever done. Me: Help me clean? 5: No. Something fun.
@BrokenPalabras: Ancient people: turned grapes into wine, agave into tequila, and sugar cane into rum. Modern people: turn soy, rice, or almonds into milk.
@OfficialMizGin: I hate it when a guy pulls out a chair in front of me. I’m never sure if he’s a gentleman or a chair thief.
@JohnHilsen: There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts.